Here are 5 indicators of true friendship

Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” – NKJV

       

REALNESS

In order to build a true friendship, you must KNOW who you are building the friendship with. Are you truly friends with the true essences of the person our are you friends with their representative. 

Being honest about feelings, hurts, pains, disappointments, good times , and bad are true indicators of realness in  a relationship.  Warning signs that the relationship lacks realness: Sharing only good news, never the bad.  A willingness to listen to low moments but never share any low moments. Major decisions or developments are not shared with you. You find out much later than everyone else.

DISAGREEMENTS

No matter how compatible you are with a person, regardless to length of friendship – disagreements are inevitable. I venture to say that you really don’t know that you actually have a true friend until you two disagree, only then do you know what you really have. 

Reals friendship doesn’t require that you think alike about every issue or every subject. Being different and having different perspectives should enhance your friendship not end it. Warning signs should be heeded when your values and perspectives cannot be different without the threat of losing the friendship.

Other Friends

As we grow and age, we change. Our needs change, our perspectives change. We enter new seasons of life and with those new seasons may come new friendships. As we expand as individuals our circle of influence expands as well.

Be on guard if your circle of friends does not change. Or if your introducing new people in your life causes others to feel threaten.  New Friendship should not be  taken as an indication of a lack of loyalty to others. True friendship does not punish you for seeking to expand your circle of friends.

TRUST

Trust is the foundation to any relationship, including the platonic. Can I really trust what you say? Can I depend on you to be truthful? Can I share with you my vulnerabilities and be assured they will be safeguarded. Are you truly my advocate?

You must be able to answer these questions with a level of certantity. Whenever you are uncertain about the level of trust with the relationship, then you do not have a friendship. And that’s ok, just be sure to take the relationship for what it is. If you have to question whether a person can be trusted or if they truly have your back, then it’s time to re-assess.

BOUNDARIES

Every relationship must have boundaries in order to remain healthy. True friends will know and respect your boundaries. Friendship only goes so far and rightfully so. After all we’re peers to one another not parents.

Warning signs indicating a lack of or ignoring of boundaries: Unhealthy and unwanted advise, intervening too far, providing solutions unrequested, sharing opinions about your spouse. True friends should be able to tell us about ourselves truthfully with love, but true friends also know what’s out-of-bounds and they know when to take a step back.